Wednesday, May 10, 2006

A note for work.

In comes Helen Archer.

"The Hospital gave me a note for two weeks after my investigation."

*?* (readers will recognise the trademark Dr J quizzical expression).

"So that was two weeks ago and I need another."

Right, says I, and what's been the matter.

"Well my voice is still a bit hoarse and I work on a till."

So you're not actually ill then?

"Well no, but my voice is hoarse and I talk a lot..."

As indeed it is, and she does. But, says I again, can't your employer find you something to do away from the till 'till your voice comes back.

"?" (She turns the tables and goes quizzical herself- unless it's constipation.)

Turns out she hasn't asked them, what with being hoarse and all.

So we resolved that I would not "sign her off" and she would get back to them to find an alternative position-- or perhaps woman the till a little more quietly for a bit. I suppose she will have a problem yelling for the supervisor to enquire about the price of fish, but I know the store she works in has those flashing light thingies and buzzers to attract the supervisor's attention so I really don't see how a hoarse voice counts as a total disability preventing her working.

Still at the end of this vignette I am left with the impression that I am a greater scourge to mankind than Dr Mengelle.

So gaze upon my works ye mortals and despair. I know I do sometimes.


Sheila said...

So, the stereotype is that surgeons think that they are God but GPs are Ozymandias? Could be worse - you could be Charon or Cerberus according to many of the objections to changes to the present incapacity benefit system.

I like the image of womaning the till quietly. Historically, it was grammatically acceptable to woman or man a position - you don't hear that much now. Of course, it would have been even better if you had had enough consultation time to rehearse mimes for asking for the price of fish.


Doctor Jest said...

Heh I quite like the idea of being Ozzy. On with the black T shirt and shades.


Shiny Happy Person said...

I absolutely love the fact that you anonymise your writing by using people and places from The Archers.

Though I suspect that, at 25, it's shameful for me to actually get the reference.

Doctor Jest said...

Shiny Happy One-- thank you. it took me a while to come up with the conceit, but I think it works reasonably well, especially to an educated audience ;-).

Feel no shame. I take it as a sign of good breeding. Downloading the podcast might make one a little "sad" though.

Of course the only problem will come when I actually want to write about a patient called Grundy or Snell.....

Shiny Happy Person said...

No, no. What is sad is that I am 25 years old and I know all about The Archers but have no idea what a podcast is.

Doctor Jest said...

Good for you! Could I interest you in a wax cylinder grammophone at all?

Complete with stuffed Jack Russel and all......