Friday, November 30, 2007

Delusions of Grandeur

“He’s ready for you now” Miss Moneypenny nodded towards the office door, marked with typical ministerial frugality with a single letter-- M.

In I went, full of trepidation. Two hours later I emerged triumphant. Horizons had been scanned, forward motion was observed and a jolly nice Macedoin de Fruits analogy slipped in under the wire. All told I had shoe-horned in a grand total of five reader submitted buzz words or phrases. And more importantly, my Double-O status is safe for another year. The denizens of Ambridge can sleep safe in their beds, knowing that Dr J is on watch.*

So thank you to all contributors for your sterling efforts in making this year’s appraisal more amusing. It is possible there will be concerns at NHS management level about my sanity after the report goes in, but there’s probably nothing new in that anyway. I now expect my call up to visit Q branch for some new goodies any day, so just one question remains.

Where do I sign to get my new Aston Martin?

*Although actually of course night work and weekends are no longer in my purview…

Friday, November 23, 2007

The dog et it......*

Brothers and Sisters I stand before you full of contrition. The thing is, the servers at work started playing silly buggers. Then things at home got a bit busy for a while. Then there was this whole clinical presentation to the entire practice thing that I had to get ready for Monday last, and finally the dread annual GP appraisal looming for Monday coming. In short these are my feeble excuses for the lack of posts (and comments elsewhere) this past few weeks.

Not that I haven’t been thinking of you all you understand. And now I’m back and already I’m after a favour.

“Bloody typical…” I hear you all muttering, “It’s always Me-me-me with him. We don’t know why we bother… honestly… “ and so forth. And you’re probably quite right. Still you can’t blame a chap for asking, so here goes.

As last year, next Monday morning I am to be appraised. A colleague and mentor will be stopping by for a chat, to try to detect if I have developed any homicidal tendencies since last we spoke. I’m pretty sure I haven’t, so that should be ok, but the whole process can be a bit of a travail. To lighten the mood last year we tried a game of “buzzword bingo”, a little something I shamelessly plagiarized from Blogger par excellence, Greavsie.

So what I’m looking for are a few choice buzzwords for this year. All suggestions gratefully received. Of course if you felt you wanted to submit them wrapped in a ringing endorsement stating how the Caseblog has transformed your sex life, cured that embarrassing little crop of warts, given meaning to an otherwise drab and hopeless existence, or other such fitting tribute, then however much it might embarrass me, you should give free reign to those feelings.

Just don’t tell anyone I asked…..

*excuse supplied to Mrs Badcrumble for non-appearance of homework, circa 1969. (And no we never did have a dog).

Monday, November 05, 2007

Stop me if you've heard this one before.

“The thing is…” Nelson pauses for effect, “it doesn’t seem to matter what I do, I just can’t seem to stop putting weight on.”

Nelson has Type II diabetes. You know. The grown up sort. The kind that won’t put you into a coma in just a week or two, and, that seldom requires insulin at the start. One of the problems with this is that, in an effort to get his blood sugars to target, he has ended up on rather a lot of meds. And some of those meds can, paradoxically, cause weight gain. So he may just be experiencing a side effect.

“So,” say I, “what exactly have you tried?” A reasonable request I think you’ll agree. But Nelson’s body language comes over all discomfited.

“Well, I don’t have sugar in my tea anymore. And I’ve started using all those low fat thingies….” At this point his brow creases as he casts around for other lifestyle changes made in the three years or so he has been afflicted.

He dries.

“So have you tried dieting at all?”

The stunned look in reply says it all. It appears he was hoping for a visit from the “Weight Loss Fairies” to magic the excess avoirdupoids away.

And so we agree to give it a go. In the end he is weighing in a good three kilo’s heavier than he was in the spring, and this tips him over into the dread “Obese” category, which, coupled with his diabetes is not the best news. He has a target to make in the next four weeks, and if he can hit or get close to the required 2.5kg weight loss we shall be in a position to start him on some meds that might help (yes yet more meds, Type II Diabetes Mellitus is not for the faint hearted—‘scuse the pun).

If not he gets to go to the endocrine clinic for further advice.

Or we could always send in the Weight Loss Fairies...