Monday, November 06, 2006

Time Travel

In Borsetshire the eldritch mists have gone. Or rather, have been replaced with a blanket of knitted fog. On the drive in this morning things loomed. Lots of things. It seems I must have upset the local countryfolk somehow.

How can I tell? Well they all seem to be looming out of the fog on the wrong side of the road. Mine that is. And with visibility down to 20 yards (approx 18m for metric readers) this made for a tricksy drive all round. There were three landies, two of them pulling horseboxes, one horsebox, unattached, abandoned roadside but pointing in the wrong direction, sundry well camouflaged dog walkers ambling kamikaze style in combats(!), one bike, sundry pigeons, a plethora of street urchins in Edwardian costume, and at least one soot begrimed chimney sweep with an execrable cockney accent*.

So here's the thing, with all this mayhem on the roads, how come I managed to get in to the surgery a full fifteen minutes earlier than normal, even after the usual ten minutes delay in intended departure time as the kids played their ritual game of hunt the sports kit / homework / wossname-- oh really Dad, you know, that thingy.....

Seems that the Ambridge fog distorts the fabric of the space time continuum or opens up some kind of wormhole effect to speed the passage of the big red bus. So now here I am expecting the sudden arrival of Daleks and Cybermen in my wake. Still we should be ok. After all I am the Doctor.

Now where did I put that sonic screwdriver?

* the last two only come out in the fog to "charm" our American cousins. Them and Nannies flying their umbrellas.

11 comments:

greavsie said...

You telling me that you have Billie Piper working at the surgery?

Doctor Jest said...

greavsie-- sadly not. just some stupid annoying robot dog :-(

Shinga said...

Not too sure that you've lost the eldritch from your description.

What do you think of the spin-off Torchwood? Gadgets are neat but I am irritated by the storylines and the poor acting. I will definitely absent myself the next time members of the family settle in for a John Barrowmore (?) drool-fest.

Regards - Shinga

Doctor Jest said...

shinga-- must confess to having seen only the trailers for this offering. The word from the mother's union is that it's far too rude for our 14yo to be allowed to see and I must say I feel poor old Aunty has never realy been up to "proper" sci-fi, just like they can't do soaps about rich people....

Shinga said...

Under the influence of the Mothers' Union, I still haven't adjusted to appearing in public without gloves or the sight of people eating/smoking in the streets. So, all in all, my judgment of appropriateness is off.

Auntie may not be good at 'proper' sci-fi, but don't you find a little something of the Golgafrinchans about Strictly Come Dancing?

Regards - Shinga

Doctor Jest said...

Shinga-- yes indeed, though in Aunties defence, you could say the same for X Factor, Big Bro' et al.

Must go, the telephone sanitizer's just arrived.

Damian said...

Something similar happening in our neck of the woods.

On the days when I say, "I'll take it easy today - ride gently, try not to arrive at work covered in sweat," I arrive five minutes earlier than the days when I wear all the lycra and try to overtake busses and taxis.

You may enjoy my brother, Doctor Ben's blog: http://doctorben.wordpress.com.

Doctor Jest said...

damian-- yep. Sunny today so "12 minutes late".

Sorry to read of Dr Bens troubles. Hope things look up for him soon. Will stop by when I can....

Anonymous said...

Hee hee - am in Londinium and been looking at all the chimney pots and thinking how very Mary Poppins it all is...no fog though...

Doctor Jest said...

Anon-- "Step in time!" Oh and did you manage to Feed the birds. Ken wouldn't approve you know....

Wendz in France said...

Oh that anonymous was me - I was blogging from my friends PC and it seems Blogger didn't recognise me!

How very dare it!