Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Why I can't play piano.

It was a lovely New Year weekend at Jest Acres. We saw the New Year in proper at midnight with a couple of left over fireworks from the November 5th debacle ( just combine the words “Whopping” “Rocket” and “Ground-burst” and you’ll get the gist), and then back into the warm to hootenanny along with Jools. The sit down banquet beforehand went spectacularly, helped no end by the two, yes I do mean plural here folks, chocolate fountains that had been separately gifted us by generous souls. The cava fizzed prettily as we “Auld lang syne’d” in ’07. After a rather late start to Monday we sat down to lunch at 2 and got up from the table at around 6.30, so you could say we’ve spent more hours in ‘07 feasting than sleeping so far!

There are now even the odd few gaps in the fridge which had not hitherto seen daylight this past ten days. (And the recycling bin clinked its tipsy way down the drive this morning when I put it out first thing, before setting out for the surgery. I myself have been, as you would all expect, the model of sobriety and decorum throughout this past festive season however.)

* Perceptive listeners will make out the strains of Tom Waits’ “The piano has been drinking” throughout that last parenthesis*

Then someone said it, late last night over rum truffles. (Well o.k. what really happened was that somebody tried adding rum to the preheated chocolate for the fountain and found out empirically how to make Rum Truffles- ahem…)

Specifically they said, “You ought to get one of them Blog thingies you know.”

So now I’ve had to perjure myself and I’m sitting here wondering if I feel more like Clark Kent or Anthony Burgess.

You see this thing only really works if I know no one I know is looking. If I thought for one minute they were then I’d go all self conscious and fat fingered and keep hitting all the black notes. So if you see them please don’t tell them or I might have to shut up shop.

Oh, and Happy New Year by the way.


Shinga said...

Happy New Year to you and yours.

Adding the rum to the chocolate that way didn't cause it to seize? That was fortunate. The number of truffles and chocolate ganaches that I've made - the pounds of chocolate that have seized: it's somewhat of an open wound for me.

Regards - Shinga

greavsie said...

The Les Dawson of Blogging? ;-)

Doctor Jest said...

shinga-- nope, that was the problem. The chocolate would fount no more having gone from liquid to sludge, hence the transformation to "truffles". So in a very real sense I feel and share your pain. Specially since the "sombody" concerned was me trying to be clever as usual ;-(

greavsie-- truly I am not worthy, but thanks for the analogy. It's made my afternoon it has.

Nostrumdammit said...

Dear Dr Jest,

you may find that the addition of one dessert spoonful of glycerin per pound of melted chocolate may well facilitate some spirited additions and maintain the plasticity of flow that you desire.

Nostrumdammit has some very fond memories of chocolate, whisky and glycerin filled pipettes during increasingly ribald attempts at icing cakes and comfits during past festive seasons.

Like you Dr Jest, anonymity seems to impart some spice to blogging and I too occasionally look furtively over my shoulder - just in case.

Happy New Year Dr Jest.
A fine blog that man!
May your fountains flow fluidly in the forthcoming year.

Z said...

It's all right unless you were On Oath. If not, you merely told a few porkies and everyone does that.

But we're all very discreet and will not tell a soul.

Wendz said...

I agree with Z - Lips are zipped, Mum is kept and cats are in the bag.

Good grief man - where else would I get my Hobnobs and coffee from?

Oh - who is Les Dawson? Bugger I'll just Google it.

Shiny Happy Person said...

It sounds divine. I imagine a huge country pile, long dining table, eight-foot Christmas trees, roaring open fires; picture-postcard Christmas type affair.

Mrs SHP and I saw the new year in with a very drunk drag queen and assorted other gays. There was camp dancing and balloons and the darg queen showed us his willy at midnight. Happy days!

Shinga said...

Ah, OK, I had assumed that you had enrobed (as chocolate workers say) whatever you were dipping in the fountain in chocolate and allowed it to set - hence the truffle.

All is now clear - I shall not pain you by asking you to recall how it was that you actually degummed and cleaned the foutain.

Regards - Shinga

Doctor Jest said...

nostrum'-- Thanks for the tip, and for stopping by. Did you used to copere the Good Old Days perchance? You certainly show a fine flare for fantastical, phenomenal, alliteration.
Happy New Year indeed.

z / wendz-- thank you both for your continued discretion. Wnendz, make sure to include piano in the google search. Les was a genius on the miss-plaid piano. The tune was still, just barely, recognizable, but the end result was guaranteed to have you in tears of pure joy he played badly so damn well.

SHP-- How wonderful to hear from you. Did I miss the opportunity to chuck my confetti? Sounds like you had a ball, a couple even ;-) And yes, Jest Acres was much as you describe, well, more or less... no unsheathed armaments at our New Year though. Ah well, you can't have everything I s'pose.

Shinga-- *turns chocolatey face hastily away* Mmmpph glmmmph mph m-mmmph. (burp).

Shiny Happy Person said...

You know, 'chuck my confetti' could quite easily be a euphemism for the expulsion of fluid from the fluffy sausage.