Thursday, April 27, 2006



I understand that when the scripts are delivered for Eastenders the whole cast scrabbles through for the last few lines to see whose turn it will be to get the"Doof Doofers". In other words who will get the cliffhanger line bofore the terrible '80's style synthed drumbeat that heralds the closing titles.

Every now and again you get a consultation that has the same quality. Yesterday I had two in rapid succession. To keep the theme lets call them Phil and Grant.

Phils tummy had been feeling "wibbly" for a few weeks. Not painful and not really sick, but something in between the two. You know. Wibbly. We went through the usual questions and no he had been neither sick, nor had loose stools or constipation. The family had sent him because he had been abroad some while ago and might have "picked something up". His tummy was soft and non tender and gurgled just as it should down the stethoscope.

Cue the trademark Dr J quizzical look *?*.

(A very handy device for hinting without actually coming out and saying to a paying punter "I have no clue what's the matter".)

Then he let the cat out to play with the pigeons when he said "Would stress have anything to do with it?"

Within ten minutes a tale of loss, bereavement, and reaction to same, emerged and the wibble made rather more sense. We agreed - after a more detailed assessment of his mental state - that he was not depressed, though still having some sad days, and that anxiety was the likely cause of his symptoms. I did offer medication but on the whole he looked so much better for having had the chance to talk through and explore his feelings that he may well not need any.

Grant was another matter. He came in after a "note for work". Or put another way, a sick note to certify him as unfit for work.


He was "upset" after leaving his wife only to find that his boyfriend then left him.... there was a lot of other stuff besides but already the mental synth drums had begun "doof doofing". This being real life and not just soap opera, of course there were no closing titles, but after a simlar assessment we were able to decide that Grant, unlike Phil, has been made depressed by his stressors and so he went away with a note, a script and an appoitment for review in two weeks. In other words, to be continued.....

So maybe life is more like a soap than I like to pretend.


Shinga said...

My brother is a teacher. One of his pupils was always well turned out and attentive in school. After three years of excellent attendance and behaviour, he started 'to go off the rails'.

The disturbance in the behaviour was beyond 'normal teenage stuff'. The mother was asked to attend the school for a pastoral chat. She turned up for the get-together, agreed that X hadn't been himself lately and announced herself baffled, "Although, he hasn't been the same since his dad ran off with that sailor..."

In a way, the boy in question was pleased that the school cared enough about him to enquire. He got over his rough patch and settled down again (in as much as teenagers do).

Sooz said...

Hmm. Dear Doctor... I watched 'stenders tonight. I was worried.
Why on earth would a Dr (soapy one) go out with Little (mousey and overacting) Mo?

Tell me it's not true!

Incidentally I find Grant horribly attractive. Does that mean I'm weird?

pink said...

sooz - i find grant, the character, very sexy too. the actor doesn't do anything for me though, mostly on account of his face, which looks like a bag of spanners.

dr j - you are a *listening*, if somewhat quizzical doctor? any room for me on your books? :)

Doctor Jest said...

Ladies than you all for stopping by.

Shinga-- yes its funny how often that happens, like we are expected to pick up on whats been going on in their lives by telepathy. I guess they are so immersed in life they expect us to be able to fill in the blanks.

Sooz-- methinks tis but the raw testosterone oozing from the screen. I have to say he does nowt for me, but I know better than to critisize others choices. Ditto Mo for that matter ('cepting the bit about the testosterone).

Pink-- anytime you find yourself in Ambridge you're welcome to stop on in. But I still don't do slimming pills. See above re the Grant thing.