Monday, December 18, 2006

The fall and rise....

... of Doc J?

The powers that be have shut the main road through Ambridge this week. As a result of their thoughtlessness I have to take a more circuitous route in to work. This takes me down roads I used to commute on regularly, but have not visited in over a decade. It also gives more time for automphalopsy*.

The first thing that strikes me is how mutable our sub-urban landscape has become. Factories that had been standing by the roadside since the 1920’s when last I traveled this road, have vanished. The manufacturing has been outsourced to the Baltic I gather. In place of the factories we have “Rabbit Hutch” housing and apartment blocks that might have graced a 1980’s Bruckheimeresque Miami harbour-front, but which on a bleak Borchester December morning end up looking absurdly out of place. I mean, who in blighty can honestly say they get any mileage out of a balcony for god’s sake, specially a balcony 0.5m from a main road. I suppose if we were slightly more touristique in the summer they might come in handy for serving cream teas to the upper story occupants of open topped busses, but we’re not, and they won’t.

Now, having digressed almost as massively as I was detoured this morning, back to the main business of the day. Traveling these familiar yet unfamiliar roads took me back ten years or so to a fresher faced less worldly wise Dr J. The practice has come a long way since then, as have famille Jest. Most of it has been good. Some has been awful. On the whole though not a bad decade. But I can’t help feeling I’m slowly morphig in to a latter day Doc Morrisey**. I find myself saying in all earnestness to punters with lurgi, “Oh yes, I’ve had that too… wonder what it is?” or “Oh yes Mrs. Snell, there’s a lot of it about” or even, “Well if I were you I’d just keep on taking the tablets. Now tell me about the old love life….”.

Still, said with a knowing smile and tongue firmly planted in cheek I reckon that makes me post-modern. So that’s alright then.

*I googled this and so far it doesn’t seem to exist so I’m claiming ownership of it. It’s my neologism till proven otherwise. So there. (And a hob nob to the first respondent to correctly attribute it’s meaning) (And no, it’s not rude).

** I didn’t get where I am today by explaining obscure seventies sit com references.


Shinga said...

automphalopsy, def: faux philosophical musings that only happen when trapped in the car in automata driving mode?

Regards - Shinga

PS - am I competing for the honour of the thing or a faux tin of CyberCelebrations made up of trans fats and faux chocolate? We usually compete for Cyber Chocolate Hobnobs, but it is nearly Christmas.

Doctor Jest said...

shinga-- not a bad guess and captures the spirit of the thing, but sorry, not quite ;-(
By all means compete for cyber celebrations to the value of one cyber hob nob if it pleases you though.

(Now just wait and see, there'll be a celebrations:hob nob excahnge rate thread if we're not careful)

Claire said...

navel gazing sort of thing? I'm extrapolating from 'omphalos'...

stitchwort said...

Got to be contemplating your navel.
Has "A" level ancient Greek been of some use at last?
Oh dear, claire got there first.

Wendz said...

I don't know. About the fancy word. But can I still have a hobnob? Mine are now finished.

But anyway, you are very restrained in your remarks to 'the punters'...."Oh yes there's a lot of it about"...ha ha in France they make out that there's a bloody epidemic sweeping through the land if more than 2 people have flu. And please - remember - a sore throat has a very special name (un angine) and is a dreaded disease that attackes only Frenchmen and requires 3 days off work, at least.

They're such a bunch of babies, here.

Z said...

"It's a virus" is usually the last refuge of a clueless GP.

Not that you're clueless. Not at all.

Oh jesus, I can't even read the wv. Why do people use wv? It is totally discriminatory.

Cath said...

But it often IS a virus, Z, isn't it? Especially in paediatrics.
I posted about navelgazing earlier, but blogger swallowed my post... :-(

steveg said...

"** I didn’t get where I am today by explaining obscure seventies sit com references."


Nice one doc - Hang in there, you're doing fine

Thanks for the great blog


Doctor Jest said...

claire-- excellent deduction. you may help yourself to a cyber hobnob or two cyber celebrations (I have arbitrarily set the exchange rate for Shinga, who should also claim a couple for being on the right track with the faux philosophy-- the only kind I know)

Stitichwort-- a literal translation yet. Worth a cyber hobnob of anyone's money.

wendz-- how could I refuse so gracious a plea, help yourself.

*eyes hobnob tin nervously in a Winnie-ther-Pooh sort of way whilst hoping no-one is noticing*

z / cath-- yes we often say it, even mean it too as often as not. not much help to the afflicted I know, but there it is. I rather like the Terry Pratchet version where the doc seeks inspiration and tells the patient they'er suffering from a "walrus". Hobnobs or celebrations for you both?

steveg-- *Oh my God!*
"Wonderful steve g"
Kumquat surprise?

Shinga said...

Rats, I got the navel-gazing but was somehow caught up in the impression that this had happened in the car, and, like mobile phones, it wouldn't be legal.

I frequently tell the children that I work with that they are behaving like beached whales (I ask them not to eat beforehand, but they come in brushing the crumbs off their fronts and with bright orange goo stuck in their teeth). Not quite a walrus but I may vary my pace by adopting this. Apparently, Inuit in Alaska describe asthma as a beaver in the lungs.

Let's hear it for Greek A level! Liddell and Scott or some bizarre updated course, like Cambridge did to Latin when we were all perfectly happy with our Ewebanks?

But is the kumquat as surprising as being nibbled to death by ducks?

Regards - Shinga