Eddie came to the chest clinic this morning. His asthma is pretty well controlled with his present inhalers, and his lung function is appropriate for his age, and this despite his four decade smoking history. He says he would like to quit, but has tried all the methods available, with no lasting success. Still, this year he has decided to get serious and so, for Lent, he has given up.
Sadly, this behaviour modification has coincided with a bit of an upturn in the weather. In the past couple of weeks, Ambridge has been graced mainly by clear skies and brilliant sunshine or scattered, scudding clouds and a stiffish breeze. So in reality he’s not so much given up as changed venue.
Admittedly that makes it less likely that he will light up first thing, what with the rather frosty mornings such clear skies also cause; or last thing, since it’s still a bit nippy for standing on the patio in PJ’s, dressing gown and slippers. So this in part explains his drop from ten a day to six or seven. The problem is Lent will be up in another three weeks.
I’m also a bit baffled by the logic. Is it somehow more sinful to smoke indoors, polluting your own space, than outside, polluting everybody else’s? Or is God just watching what we get up to inside, knowing he can safely leave outdoors to Her Britannic Majesty’s Government, with their plethora of CCTV cameras and US loaned spy satellites? Or is this a new variation on the “calories don’t count if you’re standing up” argument?
I’m left wondering what other sins it might be safer to indulge outdoors, but, to be honest, so far I’m coming up blank.