Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Chill out people!

I'm coming to the view that relaxation technique is a life skill. It's too useful to be confined to the posher antenetal classes and the analysts office. I reckon they should teach it in Kidergarten, and we should all have a refresher course at least once a year. On the basis of this afternoon's surgery I could cut my caseload by around a third if we made this a public policy initiative. And the great thing is you can teach it to just about anyone in a standard 10 minute consultation, and it's free.

(Of course some people go away feeling they have been fobbed off if they don't go out of the room with a scipt for pills that would stun an elephant, but you're not like them are you?)

So here it comes, Relaxation 101 as US colleagues might have it.

  1. Take a deep breath, all the way in, then, without holding it, breathe all the way out as slowly as you are comfortable with.
  2. Keep doing this until you are down to around 4 breaths a minute if possible, or as slow as you can go.
  3. Start by tightening your toes, really tightly clenched, and then, as you count (silently) to 10 uncurl them until they are fully relaxed. Do this 3 or 4 times.
  4. Now, keeping the breathing slow and even all the time, move up to tighten and relax you calves just as you did your toes.
  5. Move up to the thighs, then fingers, forearms, biceps and shoulders in order.
  6. Stop snoring,,, for those that nodded off, well done, but try to pay more attention in future. after all Doctor knows best....

Needless (hopefully) to say, its best to start out doing this somewhere warm and tranquil where you can lay down and give it your full attention. When you get good at it you can use it anywhere for any minor irritation the day might throw your way.

I'm doing it now.

You can tell can't you......


greavsie said...

4 breaths a minute! I was nearly blue then!

Doctor Jest said...

Keep at it. It'll come in handy for resisting the bacon rolls. After a year or two you'll hardly notice them. Honest.

pink said...

*wants a bacon roll*

4 breaths a minute? hahaha, never gonna happen. ever.

Doctor Jest said...

Oh ye of little faith... don't get hung up on the actual rate, just slow everything down and you'll be amazed what you can do over time. Always assuming you don't nod off en route that is.

Sorry no bacon rolls here, it's our duty to watch everybodies cholesterol so its stictly brown rice and tofu all round.... (not) ;-)

Swiss Missus said...

"...brown rice and tofu all round..."



Erm... do you think I could have the bacon without the roll?